So I ‘m starting off my blog with my pregnancy experience. Throughout my pregnancy, I made unpublished video journals (vlogs) because I was too lazy to write my progress all the time. This series pretty much sums what I’ve babbled about in my vlogs. Anyway, here goes!

After 10 years together, G and I tied the knot September 2014. We started living together 7 years into our relationship and  felt ready at the time to make it official on paper, after living together for 3 years. Yes I did some math there.

After our amazing day, we thought, hey maybe it’s time to start a family. We did not have a plan as to when we wanted to start. We decided to let it happen naturally, and not really “try”.  Lo and behold we found out we were expecting on January 2015. Didn’t think it would be so soon after we got married but hey, these were the cards we were dealt. I want to say first trimester was somewhere between December 2014 to March 2015, even though I felt sick throughout the entire pregnancy.

ANYWAY, the day we found out I was pregnant, was a really emo day. Those 2 lines and the digital test saying “YES+” definitely hit home. What were we going to do? We didn’t read anything. I did a complete 180, asking myself, are we really supposed to be parents? Even though we thought we were ready? Can we raise a baby in a 1 bedroom apartment in Toronto with an average combined income? We were to go out for an Omakase dinner with my sister and her boyfriend that same evening. Even though I found out, that same day, I still ate sushi anyway haha.

The first 2 months was definitely a gamechanger. I didn’t feel like myself. I only told a few of my girlfriends that we were expecting. Just in case the inevitable happened, I had someone to talk with. I also told my trainer for safety reasons. But man was it so hard to hide the fact I was pregnant. I was feeling dizzy, weak and tired all the time. I had to cancel social engagements. I had (and still do have) digestive issues to begin with, and for sure being pregnant didn’t help. I couldn’t continue taking prevacid, so had to downgrade with zantac.  I was sensitive to certain smells, smells that I used to like. Same thing with foods. For some reason, I would get nauseous with the clean foods I’ve been used to eating, and feel better with junk food. Chicken nuggets and fries and those cholesterol loaded deep fried Filipino cuisine were my go-to for the first few weeks. I didn’t want to go out to public places because I got dizzy from the crowds and lights. I know everyone’s pregnancy is different. Some of my friends were expecting at the time as well and had relatively “easy” pregnancies. DAMN YOU, was what I thought haha.

Hormones made it all dramatic too. I would cry all the time over the stupidest things, then catch myself thinking “really Joan? you’re crying over THIS?” First trimester was also in the middle of winter when we’d get minus double digits weeks in a row, and hardly any sun. So that definitely made me moody. I thought I had some sort of seasonal depression. The only plus side of winter during first trimester was that whenever I felt nauseous, I would just step outside and the blast of arctic air would give me a nice punch in the face and distract me from the nausea (if that made any sense).

I gave in went to a walk-in and was prescribed Diclectin. I hated feeling nauseated, so the Diclectin took the edge off, even though it made me extra super tired (We didn’t have benefits for prescription drugs so the Diclectin was a real punch to the wallet, but so worth it for me!) I was still working out with Muay Thai and CrossFit, just to try to keep my energy up. I felt it was safe too since I’ve been doing both for a few years prior.

To top it off, it was the start of our busy season at the office. December to June usually gets busy. The commute one way was 30 minutes without traffic. I made sure to pack snacks and water in the car. I also checked google maps everytime I drove out, because being preggo, in unexpected traffic on the Gardiner was no fucking bueno.  I was also studying and writing an exam within the timeframe.  Jesus.

On week 9, we had an emergency ultrasound and it was confirmed we were expecting twins. Holy Crap. We were happy it didn’t go the other way but holy crap! That’s another story I’ll share later on. We eventually told our families the news and of course they were delighted 🙂

When we found out about the twins, I decided to take it easy and get some rest. It gave me a new outlook on what I’m going through. I froze my gym membership until the nausea subsided and I got my energy back. I tried not to stress about the small stuff, even at work. I still felt awful, but grateful (see? fucking hormones)

Anyway, the long depressing cold days started to feel shorter which I’ll end here because it eventually led to the second trimester. I made it through! *high five! then cries it out*