I’ve briefly mentioned in a previous post about the boys child care situation when G and I decided for us both to go back to work. We had a nanny part-time when the boys were 14 months to 23 months. Thereafter, we enrolled them in the nearby daycare. Even though it was quite difficult to find a spot that had 2 open spaces, the coordinator made it work for us to have them both registered for the toddler program. The first few months were not easy for the boys, but G and I knew with persistence, they will eventually get used to their new routine.
After almost a year at daycare, I’ve highlighted some notes of our experiences:
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The Drop Off was a challenge for the first few months.
The first 2 days, I felt quite guilty seeing them bawl so hard when I said “Have a great day, I’ll see you after Mommy’s done work” then shutting the door behind me. Then I just got used to it. The teachers would come and console them. I knew the boys were in good hands and that the crying would stop as soon as I left the building. I would sometimes call the teachers during nap time for an update, and they reassured me that the boys had a good day and the activities they have done so far. Actually, Axl stopped crying at drop off after about a month. As soon as I brought them, Axl would just run over to the toys. However, it took Rocky exactly 4 months to stop crying when I would bring them to school. I’ll never forget the look on the teachers’ face when Rocky finally waved to me and said “Bye Mommy.”
2. The magical power of comfort objects
The boys never had an actual blanket as a security blanket to keep them feeling psychologically comfortable. However, we learned that the monkey backpacks (as shown in the main picture of this post) we bought for them months prior was what gave them most comfort. We actually bought those backpacks mainly because there was a tether attached to it. The boys were wild and would run everywhere haha.
For the first month in daycare, the boys would keep their backpacks on the entire day. They would only want them removed at nap time and once they came home. Keeping the backpacks on would keep the boys from crying. We also were advised to bring a family photo, so we had two of our family photos from our Miami trip developed and placed inside their backpacks. Their teachers told us that they would clench the photos the last 2 hours of the day. This lasted a few weeks.
3. Night Terrors for the first 3 weeks
Since daycare was a new routine the boys had to get used to, every night around midnight, for the first 3 weeks, both of the boys (but mainly Rocky) would just cry and scream while sleeping. It was definitely alarming the first couple of nights but after some online reading, apparently it is common that it happens when there is a change, or learning new skills. They would cry without even opening their eyes. There were tears, but it seemed like they were not actually awake. Like sleep screams. So whenever that happened, we asked them to open their eyes. As soon as they realized we were there to comfort them, they went back to sleep. It could take them 15 minutes for this realization. Heavy amounts of espresso got G and I through the work days the following mornings due to the uncomfortable sleep.
4. The Teachers may not always seem chipper, and that is fine by us
I mean…child care is a tough job, and I feel teachers are underpaid even though I know they absolutely love what they do. I find that a lot of people underestimate the amount of work going into contributing into a child’s growth and development. I thought being on maternity leave would mostly be bliss (ha!), but I can imagine what goes on into the teachers’ heads, with a 6-to-1 child to teacher ratio. It’s physically and emotionally demanding. A smile on my boys’ face at the end of the day is enough for me to put my trust into the teachers doing an amazing job.
5. Getting sent home every time they are sick…
…And also, being prepared to use up your personal sick and vacation days from work to care for your child. And for twins might I add, they don’t always get sick at the same time. A fever could mean you are home with one of them for 3 days. Then during the course of the 3 days, the other gets sick. So it can mean you pretty much have to take an entire week off work because of the overlap. I stopped counting after the were sent home the first time. It felt that they got sick every 2 weeks or every month. I’d like to think there’s a positive outcome from all this, in that they’re building their immunity. It also means that you as a parent, will not sleep well for a few days in a row since the kids wake up in the middle of the night because the are unwell. When the boys were with their nanny, they still got sick once and sometimes twice a month, but not as frequently as in daycare. There was a time I had to miss two weeks of work. It got pretty draining both work and at home, that I had reschedule appointments with clients for after 5:30pm, then wait for G to get home from work at 5pm, just so I can catch up with work. G and I would take turns using up sick and vacation days to stay home. This was tough during busy season at work for me (Accounting life yo), so some days I had to reach out to my mom or my mother-in-law to see if they’re available to help.
6. You as a parent will get sick
I’m not going into great detail over here, but you can just imagine, not only using your sick days at work to take care of your kids, but also for yourself. AND also do the things (daily household stuff). In a year, G and I are only allowed 5 sick days each, and 10 vacation days…and we needed to more than that for the entire family. So we had to take unpaid days. Womp Womp. Being the workaholic I am, this annoyed me at first. Then again, you can only do so much as a parent to prevent being sick yourself. But when you fall ill, no bueno! Just have to let time take it’s course to get better. I’m all about that quote “you can’t provide if you’re running on empty”, so self care is a must, no matter how small amount of time you can allot for it.
7. Improvements in their social development
A lot of people assume that because they are twins, and that they have each other, that the are already set in their social skills and know how to interact with people. Quite the contrary. Rocky and Axl are night and day; two very different personalities that sometimes change places within them. Sometimes they hang out, and other times they want to be in their own separate spaces. As well, they would only know how to conduct themselves with each other and think it’s socially acceptable, but does not translate well when out in public (ie. Both yelling out “I have a penis! Do you have a penis?! Does she have a penis?!” to a lady walking past us).
G and I found it important that they learn speaking skills while in a group setting of children their age. When we had our nanny though, we made sure that she take them to the closest Early Years’ Centre and have them participate in various activities over there (when the weather cooperated, of course), or at the local playground. From this, the boys learned to communicate their ideas better and articulate their wants and needs so that G and I don’t have to guess everytime. The boys also whined less which was a bonus.
8. Navigating themselves among their peers
At first, if someone were to slightly run into or bodycheck them (either by accident or purpose), they would stop and stare and give a WTF kind of face. But over time, they got used to being in a space with a lot of people and not take things personally. That is, until they actually get hurt.
9. Gaining Independence
As much as I am not ready for the boys to do things on their own yet, I’m pretty satisfied that they learned how to entertain themselves without constantly bothering G and me. Throughout most of their infant and early toddler life, we noticed that the boys receive so much attention from family and also in public settings because they are twins. G and I would mostly be approached and be asked questions about the boys. The boys got so used to the attention that once they began daycare, it was a rude awakening for them that the teachers would not always immediately attend to their needs. It was clear that they were not the center of attention anymore. Because, again, it’s a 6-to-1 ratio (now an 8-to-1 ratio because they’re in the preschool program at the moment), so the boys knew that whoever has the authority will not be at their beck and call. This was helpful for G and I as we agreed to not spoil the boys have them feel entitled. The boys adapted quickly though and learned how to tough it out for themselves, especially if a classmate(s) would give them a hard time.
10. Ongoing development in personalities through the creative outlets
I don’t know about you, but I’m all for the artwork they bring home. You can feel the joy they had and what went through their mind while making said art. Whenever they come home with something, you can see the sense of pride and ownership they have when they bring it to me and yell “Mommy, mommy! I made this for you! I made this for you! Put it on fridge”. I love getting the updates from the teachers (through a cool app they have for parents) and them showing how they made their creations and also how they went on with their day.
11. Learning simple manners
I feel having simple manners builds character not only in childhood, but throughout adult life. When asked for something followed by “please” and “thank you” without being yelled at, I know I’ve done a great job so far at raising respectful young gentlemen. Over the first few months in daycare, the boys learned how to use their utensils for what they are (and not as musical instruments) and the mess kept at a minimum. I think the peer pressure at meal time at daycare makes them eat in a nice orderly fashion. G and I do our best to go out as often as we can to restaurants with them. It’s not always perfect, but by doing it regularly, we can try to take them out somewhere other than a Starbucks, a fast food joint, mall food court or Ikea haha.
If you have made it this far reading this post, I salute you! I tend to ramble on and on. I know I’ve pointed out quite a bit of what G and I learned, but without dragging on this post a bit longer, I’ll end it here.
If you have some related stories, please do share in the comments or direct message me 🙂 I would love to hear them!
Til next post,
X-Joan
P.S. Another saved Instastory for fun
Rocky and Axl's Mom 
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